Name or pseudonym

Desperately Seeking Motherhood

Topic

Dating and relationships

Your question

From: Sarah Marshall sarah1985@gmailer.com
To: Derek Vale questions@themisogynypodcast.com
Subject: Desperately Seeking Motherhood
Hello Derek,

Loyal female listener here. 

I'm very distressed as I have a 
great husband and our relationship is 
perfect, except for one thing: 
he refuses to have children with me. 

I admire and respect him in all areas of life 
and would never dare to assert my needs or 
wants ahead of his own judgement, 
but this feels existential to me. 

I'd love your advice on what I should do. 

Thank you.

Permission

From: Paul Emerson producer@themisogynypodcast.com
To: Derek Vale derek@themisogynypodcast.com
Subject: Fwd: Desperately Seeking Motherhood
Oh boy, did you see this question that 
came in earlier today?

This one is a doozy. 

Can't wait to hear how you turn this 
around on her in the most viscious way 
possible, my man.

Talk later,
Paul
From: Derek Vale derek@themisogynypodcast.com
To: Paul Emerson producer@themisogynypodcast.com
Subject: Re: Wrong Idea
No, I had not seen the submission prior 
to opening your email.

I appreciate the enthusiasm, Paul, but the 
goal is to point this woman down a direction 
that ends in her being pregnant.

Let's not be overly cruel when women are 
trying to do the right thing, eh?

Your pal,
Derek
From: Derek Vale derek@themisogynypodcast.com
To: Paul Emerson producer@themisogynypodcast.com
Subject: Re: Wrong Idea
Paul,

I think the best time to address Sarah's question 
will be on Episode 11, which is going to be 
centered around the "childfree by choice" 
crazies and all the damage they are doing to society.

I hate to go after a man on the show,
so we will have to handle this one carefully.

For all we know, there is a perfectly
good reason why her husband doesn't
want to breed with her. Maybe the guy
Had to settle for a woman that he knows
he could do better than now. 

We shouldn't make assumptions. 

But I'll have this on my back burner while
putting that episode together, thanks.

-Derek
From: Derek Vale questions@themisogynypodcast.com
To: Sarah Marshall sarah1985@gmailer.com
Subject: Re: Desperately Seeking Motherhood
Hello Sarah,

Derek Vale here, host of The Misogyny Podcast. 

It's great that you describe yourself as a loyal listener of the show. 

Loyalty matters more than almost anything, wouldn't you agree?

I want to apologize for taking so long to reply.

I had actually planned on addressing your email on the next episode 
of the podcast, but due to some unforseen complications, we are 
running behind schedule this week.

Which is why I wanted to take this opportunity to connect with you 
via email so you didn't think we had forgotten about you or your question.

It isn't a trivial matter, I concede.

It's good that you know and accept what you are here for, which is 
giving men both sex and the children he plants inside you.

Many women don't even understand that anymore.

And without speaking to your husband directly or knowing more
about his particular situation or reasons, it's difficult for me
to help explain his refusal to allow your body what it wants
so desperately: to be pregnant.

And look, I get it: this is tough. 

The female body knows what it wants. Its needs are as simple
as the female mind. It needs male guidance, and it
wants to give men babies.

I've known some women who go absolutely mental unless
they stay pregnant all the time.

Nothing about that is wrong or unnatural.

But the thing is, in this situation, there are a few crucial
things we must remember and not lose sight of, even if your
body is screaming to be filled and stretched wide by your
husband's baby.

Mainly this: he is still your husband.

That means, he is still the decision maker in your home.

It means that you have, through marriage, given yourself
over to him completely and therefore must not be tempted
to question his judgement, ever. For any reason.

And I know that's hard to hear.

No doubt at some point, your husband will be done with you
and move onto his next wife, who will be younger and better
looking.

The best we can do is hope that when he does, it won't be too
late for you to get pregnant and give birth.

But so long as your husband chooses to stay married to
you, all you can do is offer him your body when he wants it
and wait to be released from the marriage if he decides 
sex with you is no longer the best he has access to.

For what it's worth, Sarah, I hope you find yourself
swelling up with a couple of little ones inside you very soon.

Stay strong, stay faithful.

Your Friend,
Derek